It’s been awhile. Sorry, pals. Catching up from the Hurricane turned into catching up from going on tour turned into catching up from Thanksgiving turned into catching up from the worst flu ever. It almost turned into catching up from Christmas, except that now I am stuck in the purgatory that is LaGuardia Airport after your flight has been cancelled. So much time to write!!
So. There were nine people around my kitchen table on Thanksgiving this year. Well, it was the kitchen table plus my roommate’s desk, and I had to ask two of the guests to bring folding chairs, but still. As we sat down to eat at a table spilling over with food, it seemed only natural to express our gratitude, especially Post-Hurricane. “We should say grace, right?” We all looked around at one another.
My friend Allie seemed like the obvious choice; she certainly seems like the most pious, and is the one who attends church most regularly. Allie, while a little baffled by her sudden leadership, led us in the Catholic grace:
Bless us O lord, and these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ, our Lord. Amen.
I wasn’t raised Catholic, but I know the prayer from many dinners at my neighbor’s house. I shouldn’t have been surprised to hear more than half the table chime in. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. Since I don’t personally identify as religious, I sometimes (wrongly) assume that my friends don’t either. Everyone has their own personal spiritual history, and our religious identities and beliefs (or non-beliefs!) are as diverse as this City we live in.
Saying grace made me uncomfortable for a very long time. Raised in a non-religious household, we were encouraged to show respect by participating in mealtime grace or prayer when invited. I always preferred when there was a script – as in the Catholic prayer – because that seemed much easier than the free-form version. The fear of being called on and not knowing what to say had me slumped in my seat, hiding, during many mealtime prayers.
It was a very slow transition into becoming comfortable with grace. I grew up in a non-religious family where tolerance, kindness, and compassion were emphasized above all other things,and I found it really disheartening when it was implied by others that I was living my life wrong because I didn’t attend church or read the Bible. Irritated, I spent most of high school and college so averse to organized religion that I refused to read almost anything that made reference to God. It wasn’t until I was 21 that I read a translation of the word isvara in the Yoga Sutras: god, or how you understand god. The latter explanation meant so much to me, I cried. God, Buddha, Allah, Jesus, Hashem, Mother Earth, the Universe, the Divine, Light, Energy/Matter or Yourself Enlightened – these were ALL ways to understand.
abundance. and lots of carbs.
It didn’t matter how we were saying ‘thank you’ before a meal – it mattered that we were saying it. There were memorized prayers with my Catholic neighbors and my Jewish best friend. There was free-form Christian prayer with my sister. And then there was the entirely non-denominational toast by my favorite uncle (hi, GOUR!).
I realized that no matter how gratitude is expressed, it is important, and necessary, and beautiful. There is nothing more meaningful than saying out loud just how grateful you are for the food on your plates and the people around your table. I am always moved when my brother-in-law, during grace, thanks god that I traveled safely to their table.
One of the things I love best about my newly adopted City is the religious diversity. On Election Day, I was so moved to see people of all faiths placing their votes and volunteering my polling place. From Orthodox Jews to elderly Haitian men to women wearing hijabs - everyone coexists in my neighborhood. I am so grateful that my students in NYC come from all walks of faith (or atheism! I didn’t forget you guys!) and that yoga can bring us all together.
So whatever it is you are – or have been – celebrating, I hope you realize just how many things you have to be grateful for, and how many ways you have to show and share your gratitude.
I hope for each of you that you are spending December
in warmth,
in grace,
and in love.
Peace to you and yours,
yogini and the city
one of the things I love best about this place (photo credit: Manhattan Mini Storage Facebook)
